Becoming the Lord’s Body
I’ve had a few near-death encounters in my life. One such instance was when I was overwhelmed with depressing thoughts; I felt utterly useless and inadequate. But, in that moment, I was saved by Jesus.
It all started when I met a rich, important businessman. This man was ill, and he lamented that his riches were useless because of his sick body. His situation struck my heart, so I offered to pray for his health. After sincerely praying for him, he started to feel better and show signs of recovery.
Thankful for my prayers, he offered me a gift in return. However, I simply told him that it would be enough if he could just believe in God and start attending church regularly. He promised that he would. Upon his insistence to give me a gift, I told him that the church near my house needed a new bell. The old church bell had been broken for a while, so the villagers could not be notified when it was time to work or rest. Immediately, he agreed and gave me some money. With that money, I headed to the nearest city that sold church bells.
I nearly killed myself
On my journey there, I bumped into a group of students. Looking at them, I felt the fire of evangelism ignite in my heart. I thought to myself:
How should I approach them? Should I start with, “How are you? Do you go to church?” No, this way of starting a conversation is so old-fashioned; they’ll definitely ignore me.
Or maybe: “Hello! The weather is really nice, right? I guess you’re all going on holiday somewhere?” No, that sounds odd too. Or I could ask them, “Hi, have you all read the bible? Do you have any questions? I have read it many times and have found many answers!” But asking this way is also too out of the blue.
The desire to evangelize them burned in my heart as I ran through the various scenarios in my head. However, I couldn’t gather the courage to speak to them because I was too shy and couldn’t get the words out to fully express what I wanted to say. Every time I finally mustered up the courage to walk towards the students, my mind would go blank, and I would dejectedly walk away.
The students watched as I walked back and forth: two steps forward, one step back. Feeling utterly disappointed in myself, I kept rebuking myself. You can’t even say a single word, and yet you want to evangelize and become an announcer? I was angry that I couldn’t do God’s work, even though He had provided me with a great opportunity to evangelize. Feeling useless, I was frustrated that I had continuously disappointed Jesus and worried my parents.
I became increasingly agitated and upset. In a surge of anger, I leapt out of my seat and ran out the train carriage door. In that moment, I truly felt like dying. Jump off and die—that’s the best solution. Images of my failure to talk to the students flashed through my mind. I closed my eyes and prepared to jump.
Jesus saved me
Suddenly, something grabbed my neck. I was so shocked that the thought of jumping off the train immediately vanished. Who grabbed me? Was it the train driver? But I didn’t see him earlier? I thought. I looked around, but strangely, there wasn’t a single person.
It must have just been my reaction from wanting to escape death. I’m despicable. I’m really unbelievable. I don’t even have the determination to die!
As I was shaking my head at myself, I heard someone on the brink of tears say, “I have already died for you. Why, then, would you want to die?”
Immediately, I recognized the sorrowful voice as Jesus’, and it frightened me. I told Jesus that I felt useless because I wasn’t able to help the Lord to spread the gospel; I didn’t even have the courage to talk to people. With tears streaming down my face, I confessed my stupidity. Jesus reasoned,
“A child would not be able to hold a very big object, right? So why do you get so discouraged and choose to die because of this? Do you know how precious life is? Do you know how sad I am that I don’t have a body?”
I replied, “But, everything I do, I don’t do well.”
“You will do well after you’ve grown up. Let’s start by evangelizing one by one. Live with me and become my body.”
Since that incident, Jesus’ words have been engraved in my mind. I evangelized one at a time, thinking that Jesus is working through my body. Since then, I’ve become more confident in preaching the gospel to crowds of people. And taking it one step at a time, I spread the gospel to the whole nation and now to the world.
Although I’m no longer young, I’m still driven by the fiery heart to live for the Lord. I confess to Jesus every day, saying, “Lord, don’t worry about me. I am living for the Lord and living to fulfill the Will of the Lord. Thus, no matter what hardships I face, it’s ok. I am a happy man!”
We’ve all been there: there are days when you feel like giving up on yourself because you feel that you’re lacking. Listen to my story—even though it’s hard now, know that if you entrust matters to the Lord, you will overcome this difficulty, do great things, and become a happy person!
Shinki is that IT Gig, that go to person for computer related issues.
In his spare time he runs, cycles, and exercise with the trinity in mind.